corpus metric system

arm's length, knees deep

the width of pinky promises

limbs so sacrosanct

 

I'm so accustomed to cutting ties

I smile as I walk away

the softest scissors carve the space between you and I

or maybe me & what I knew was true

that I have no place for you

 

she had something more to say

but always held her tongue

because to hold is to protect

the space between rib to rib,

cage to organ

was wide enough for the wrong string of words to rupture all she worked to build

so her arms remained ever crossed

against her chest

no chances, no spaces

 

I kept forgetting its name

almost orange,

three words, "light" and a "c" 

1:31am: "What's that shade of red called?"

1:32am: "Cadmium red light"

some typing, a pause

1:38am: "What made you think of it?"

I didn't respond

I sat dumbfounded in the dark by a shade of red I'd never seen before

 

I only push to see if you'll push back

we generate enough inertia

so when I pull, your mass tumbles into

mine, surprised

I only shut you down

in the hope that you'll try once again

pain is not bad

it reveals what's not working 

in this case, everything

silent breathing concave, convex

when her eyes rolled shut so fell her toughened visage

sometimes she'd turn over at the shuffling of my bag or hangers

the sound of something i dropped

but never at the sun

I've always loved how the French use 'se lever'

because some mornings are levers, 

& it requires more to raise yourself

 

it's almost better this way

I felt threaded to your heels, bound to fall

but in your silence and mine

we've unwoven

in open closure

 

when love is ready

love will find me

 

in limbo

6am, feet forward, mind upward

coveting the sky in its fluidness

pastel nothingness where everything seems pure

the clouds make me ask,

why am I so afraid to take up space?

there is no fear in perfect love

 

when I come here

claustrophobia follows suit

our bodies, words, temperatures, tendencies struggle to fit under this roof

our wants enfold us

in the creases between wall to wall

so pressed we stay to our own hearts

and farther from each other's

because it's easier

 

winner takes all

and I lost, but I did take

my steady hand

and I drew the boldest, strongest X

through my every sentiment toward you

 

you're angry with yourself

and taking it out on the world

kicking aimlessly at air that never even touched you

 

I'm falling in love

I'm falling in love

I'm falling

Protected from the wear

We wear our love

Like patent leather kisses

 

I sit humbled

the streaks and knobs of the knotted

coffeeshop wood before me

have an energy parallel to mine

my hands were clasped, eyes shut tight

as the strangest tears washed my face

pain and serenity folded into one another

I emptied myself and prayed for Him

to fill my vessel

being Christian is a cathexis-catharsis cartwheel

the pulling of your instinct, humanness

relinquishment

freedom, eerie and awesome

upon finally letting go

it feels good

when He takes control there is silence

even my tears hush as they fall

I'm not here anymore

I asked to be held, freed, loved

no order in particular

 

the extraneous

and unbothered living

last night we danced, we screamed

all our problems fastened to the balloons

and levitated out of reach

 

while my world is regenerating

and the loose ends are finding each other

everything of hers has been ripped out

and apart

I struggle with where to put my mercy